Day Four: No more tears tonight, please ...

The morning and afternoon are easy to explain. It's the evening that can not be expressed in words. For this morning, we re-iterated the theme of God's team with all the kids, with our God's team skit, praise and worshipped the Lord, and made faith bracelets. Then everyone took out their tie dye t-shirts and started to autograph each other's shirts. The kids would write their names in English and in Khmer. Wall worthy for sure!

Then we broke for lunch, saving time by pre-ordering our meal, a first for mission trip teams. So American of us to try to keep everything on a schedule and rush through the day. But we had a mission, to spend as much time as possible with the kids. The afternoon was host to our Christmas party. We made gifts for our kids to give to other kids in the village. Then we gave our kids, and the staff at New Life Christmas presents. It's hard to believe giving is better than receiving. But the joy and light in these kids eyes when we could give something to them is immeasurable.

Fast forward through dinner, and the most difficult thing awaits. Goodbye. What starts of as some more worship music, becomes the beauty of hearing "Here I am to Worship" in Khmer, drowning out our English. Follow that with an intimate evening, where we all sit in a circle to share our thoughts and prayers with one another. Certain kids would stand up, addressing everyone, by offering their gratitude, thanks and love. We followed suit with out own words. And closed in prayer. It all sounds so simple. Like any other evening. Anywhere else in the world.

But tonight was no ordinary night. Because it was extraordinary. Because somehow, God blessed us with an opportunity to see His face, His love, His compassion, His heart, His mercy, His grace, His forgiveness, His humility, His kindness, His joy in these kids. Because when we look at these faces, faces that make up our heart, the beat of our heart, our reason for living and coming to Cambodia, we see the face of God. Jacob wrestled with God, and God showed him His face. We wrestle with our own emotions, our knowledge of ourselves, our intimacy with God, our availability for God, our true purpose, for God showed his face to us tonight. And that's why it was so hard to say goodbye. Because when tears flood down these kids faces as they express their gratitude of having the opportunity to go to a restaurant, of all places, for the first time in their lives, one can not just stop in awe of how awesome our God is. And one cannot stop and cry too.

Because our hearts and our souls cry out for these kids. These future leaders of Cambodia. So please pray with us. For we lift up these 40 angels to God. We ask our Father to send his angels to the four corners of Battambang to protect these children. To shower them with love. To drench them with the Holy Spirit. To give them the strength and courage to accept His will for them. To know that they are never alone. That they will never be forgotten. That their face and spirits reside in our hearts. That they know our love for them. That they realize no matter how much we love them, it will never match the depths of God's love for them. That we miss them. That they are our brothers and sisters, our sons and daughters in Christ.

So that's why tears flow down our face. For we cannot say goodbye to a piece of our heart. These children are our heart. A piece of our heart with always remain with the angels of New Life Orphanage in Battambang, Cambodia. Half way around the world. And that's why we cannot say goodbye. For we can never be without a full heart. So we choose to return. At least that's why I had to come back for a second time this year. To reclaim the piece of my heart that was left here this past May. Unfortunately, my heart is broken. For another piece remains. Maybe God will give me an opportunity to return next year to reclaim it. Until then, no more tears tonight ...